To Really Tick Off a Bookworm
by Pyocola Analogue III
Summary: Because Maka has dignity, Soul is an adorable bumbler, and Blair is not one to pass up on a photo-op. Based of the comic by Miyaow.


Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater. The comic this story is based off of is called "SOUL – To Really Tick Off a Bookworm" by the incredible Miyaow on Deviantart, and this story was written with her permission.

To Really Tick Off a Bookworm

There are moments in life where one wishes there was music to play in the background, to help them anticipate what would happen next. Everyone thinks like that from time to time. Maka Albarn is quite average in that sense; she thinks like that, too, from time to time. She may not be particularly musically inclined, but she still knows that the full orchestral pieces in movies are interesting and do add to the scene.

She knows what music she needs for this incident when she looks back; the theme music for the shark from _Jaws_.

She had been minding her own business and heading to the kitchen. It was her turn to prepare dinner, after all, and she figured she should figure out something now. It would be easier to think now than in half an hour or so, with a whiny, slobbering Deathscythe on her heels. She spotted Blair, seated on the kitchen table in cat form with a camera clutched safely in her paws, right before she heared shallow breathes creeping up behind her.

And then her partner's hands were there, out of seemingly nowhere, clutching her petite breasts in his hands through the material of her shirt. She vaguely registered the flash of the camera. Her pigtails jolted up as if they were antennae, searching out the source of the unexpected groping, and her cheeks flushed brightly.

"Got it on video, Soul!" Blair suddenly cheers, holding the device above her head like it were some mystic prize. Soul shifts, hoping to run around and away from his enraged meister.

"Thanks Blair!" He manages to call before a book is brought down full force on his head. He drops to one knee, like a knight drops when addressing their queen. Only, unlike a knight, his arms are up in the air like some kind of dofus.

Blair hides the camera in her hat and covers her mouth with one paw, giggling at the typical spectacle. "Soul, you pervert!" The pigtailed female seethes out angrily, releasing the book but leaving it ingrained in his cranium.

He whips around to face her, glancing up and holding one arm out a bit in self defense. He hates when she decided to give him a double dosage of her twisted sense of justice. "Sorry, Maka!" He yelps out quickly. She doesn't seem to be immediately making a break to grab the book still stuck on his head. His partner was more focused on not acknowledging the fact that his nose was bleeding. He takes the opening as a chance to explain himself, to try and set things a bit more correct with her. "I had to! We're short on cash this week! The gang – even Professor Stein! – bet me one hundred bucks each! We need the money!"

She glares at him and huffs, blush turning a touch lighter. "That isn't the point, Soul!" She barks back. And then, suddenly, she's stepping closer to him. "Would you like it if I did **this**?" And then, her hands have gripped his denim clad groin.

Blair, being the most level-headed in the room, makes sure to snap a picture the minute Maka's hands are on Soul's crotch. In the initial shock of his innocent little meister's hands being on his dirty bits, all Soul can do is let out a strangled gasp, his arms snapping out to the open air. Fresh blood starts to leak out from his nostrils and his cheeks turn a tint of red that matches his ruby tinted orbs, said eyes locked on the foreign hands on his happy sack. In a second, however, his mind catches up to the situation.

Oh.

Oh!

_Oh~!_

Even with the material of his pants in the way, he can't help but melt at the feel of her hands there. All too soon, however, her hands are back to her, residing on her hips. "Well?" His prudish partner snaps out flatly, glaring at him. All he can do is let out odd noises that are a cross between a moan and a purr, eyes hazy. Finally, after the last tingles of warmth from her touch are gone and he remembers he was addressed, he responds.

"Do it again!" He says smoothly, face shifting to his smoldering expression; the one he reserves for flirting. Mortified and even further humiliated, Maka lets out a shrill shriek, pigtails shooting back up on end. Her eyes lock on the nearest bookcase, and in a hurricane-like flurry, she has him crushed on the ground from shoulder to head on the ground with the contents of the wooden shelves. "**Soul you pervert**!" She screams over the slam of her door.

The feline in the room continues snapping pictures with a wide grin. "Wow! She emptied the whole bookcase on you! Impressive!" She says eagerly.

"And I **still** need a cold shower!" He grumbles from beneath his literary prison. He pushes up, rubbing his head and glancing toward the shut door. He makes a face, given that in the end he only pissed her off further.

"You should clean up before you go in there to try and settle things nyah~!" Blair advises helpfully from the floor, returning her camera to her the confines of her hat. He glances at her and then gets up, ignoring the discomfort of his jeans and his hard-on rubbing one another the wrong way.

"Yeah, you're right," He mumbles absently, heading toward the bathroom. She waits until she hears the click of the lock sliding into place before she smirks and glances at Maka's door again.

Blair's ears twist more like devil horns and her tail sways slowly with her thoughts. "Bu-Tan thinks there will be even more Kodak moments to come, nyah~!" She sing-songs quietly, to assure that neither of her roommates could possibly hear her scheming.

After a quick shower and fifteen minutes pacing outside of her door, steadying his nerves, Soul swallowed hard. "It's now or never," He mumbles before lightly rapping on the door. He receives no answer right away and decides to peak his head inside. Thankfully it appeared that Maka had forgotten to lock her door in her fit of rage.

He narrowly missed getting hit in the face with yet another book; barely shielding himself behind the door a little since he had only poked his head in. "What do you want, you stupid lecher?" She growls lowly, reminding him of a disgruntled puppy.

"Maka, please put down the heavy artillery for a minute and hear me out," He says quietly, looking over the corner of the door again. She's sitting on her bed, a book clutched in her hand, watching him wearily. "I'll keep my hands in the air for you to see, if that'll make you feel better."

"Proceed with caution, Evans," She says blandly, slowly lowering the book. She leaves it in her lap, though; just in case she ends up needing it in the end.

He flinches at the use of his actual last name. She must be really pissed off with him… Okay, he knew she'd be mad. But **this** mad? No, he really hadn't thought so. Despite the constant bickering and name-calling they stoop to, there have only been a few times that she has used his surname on him. "Let me start by saying that I am sorry," He says, keeping his hands in the air as he had offered. He suddenly feels bad for burglars' when they get caught, having to keep their hands up while the cops point their guns at them and scream.

Though Soul will wager that a silent Maka with a book is more terrifying that a shouting man with a gun.

"I don't want an apology, Soul. I want… I want an explanation," She huffs lightly. An explanation? He stares at her dumbly for a moment and her cheeks flame to life. "Not for why you groped me, though! I may not like it but I do understand it. No, why did you… You know… Ask me to do… **it**… again?" Yet again, he can only stare at her wordlessly. She can feel her irritation being wound tighter at his silent treatment. "I mean, you always say how I have no sex appeal! Why would you want me to touch you down there?" There, she asked it! It was out in the air and she was just going to let him explain it to her.

"Maka, you do realize that I'm just teasing you when I say those things, right?" He pauses as her head snaps up in alarm. She actually believes him when he says those things? Totally uncool! He rubs the back of his neck. "I mean, I don't mean it when I say it. You're really… Um… Y-You know, pretty in your own way. You've got this way about you that's just incredible. You're smart, dependable and strong-willed. I mean, why else would I have to keep on glaring at anyone that looks at you too closely? You may not have a body like Blair but why would you need all that? There's a certain subtle beauty to you, from the smallest gesture in the classroom to the greatest of sweeps in battles. It's kinda like every move you make is poetry in motion and wow I'm really letting loose with my deepest inner thoughts, aren't I?" He stops, cheeks turning a faint pink, as his eyes shift to her.

"Soul," She says softly, covering her mouth with one hand, eyes soft with some emotion he can't identify. For a moment he fears that he has just unleashed a personal Hell upon himself; the Hell of rejection. After all, he's got a bad tendency to shove his foot in his mouth when dealing with her. Sure, there are times when he can be sincere and sweet and caring, but that may not be enough for a girl like Maka.

He certainly knows that she deserves a man who will treat her like a princess every day of her life; something he himself is unsure he can promise her.

He's opening his mouth to excuse himself and go mope in his room when something pulls on his shirt and – What's this? Oh, hello Maka's lips. When did you get here? For a moment his brain shuts down completely. And shouldn't it, really? He has just indirectly confessed his undying admiration and adoration to a girl he moments ago molested on film for over five hundred bucks! Then again, being the King of Cool, he should have had more hope that his rugged charms (and adorable bumbling) would win him his lady love.

After his brain catches up with the fact that this is indeed happening he leans into it, taking control and easing in closer to her. In his awkward hunch of a position, one of his hands came to rest on Maka's bed, a small space away from where she was kneeling near the edge of her mattress. He pulls back lightly to grin at her. "I assume all is forgiven?"

"Hmm. Now get back over here, I'm not done with you just yet," She hums softly before pulling him in for another round. He's more than ready and eager, kissing back with a touch more eagerness than the first. He grazes his teeth against her bottom lip lightly, causing her to let out a little mewl and open her mouth. His tongue slips in, teasing hers into a playful round.

'_Good thing I thought to turn off the flash on the camera nyah~!'_ Blair thinks merrily from her spotting, peering just slightly from around the door. Being a touch distracted, Soul had made things even easier for their third roommate to accomplish the task she had in mind by forgetting to shut the door all the way when he had entered.

Soul slowly inches Maka farther up on the bed, so that she is resting with her back against the wall and he has found him settled contently between her legs. One of his hands has crept up her shirt, mere centimeters from the bottom of her bra, when he pulls back slightly. "How far, exactly, can I go?" He asks, resting his forehead against hers. He doesn't want to pressure her, or anything. After all, they haven't been dating or anything; just living in a house thick with the sexual tension of being teenagers and fear over stating the obvious.

"Just keep going. I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable," She answers without missing a beat and he can't help but grin. He kisses her again and lets his hand slid up the rest of the way, grabbing one bra-covered bra. He decides that he likes this more than groping with his shirt in the way, but he thinks he'd like it better if it was gone completely. He feels up along her shoulder with his free hand and lets his mind flop in a high level of giddiness at the realization that Maka is wearing one of her four strapless bras. He should know; one of his pastimes when she is away is to rummage through her things and see what he discovers.

What? Don't you go judging him; it's not like he ever took any of her under things with him as a parting gift!

His hand under her shirt temporarily leaves its post to undo that damnable hook in the back. It takes him a few moments, a small growl coming from him when they break from air again. She giggles at him. "Do you want me to…?"

"S'cool. I got this," He says with a determined little huff. She lets out another little amused noise right before her bra flops down into her lap. "See? Told you." He grins before seizing her mouth again. His tongue goes straight to work in leaving her head spinning while his hand inches back toward the now uncovered treasure.

He's a little hesitant at first but then his hand creeps up. And oh, what a delight! Her breasts have gained more size than he'd really noticed and fit oh-so-perfectly into his palm. He gives an experimental squeeze before slipping his fingers down to roll her nipple between his fingers. He feels himself throb down below at the pleasure soaked noise she purrs at that but pushes on, wanting to walk away from this with as much knowledge about her body as possible.

His hand trails down slowly, fingers skimming along her skin and enjoying the smooth ride, while its partner has tangled into her hair. He uses the hand in her hair to tilt her head back, breaking the kiss, so that his mouth may find purchase in her exposed neck and collarbone. He is suddenly much more grateful that she wore one of her slightly lower necked shirts, since it gives him loads more skin to mark up with love nibbles.

He picks up on how when he applies light pressure with his teeth, and drags along her skin with said pressure added on, she'll let out this adorable whiny plead of his name. He keeps that thought in the back of his mind before deciding that his mouth wants more to play with. He leans back from her just long enough to remove her shirt before he delves back in for another open-mouthed kiss. Maka makes a needy little noise into the kiss, earning a smirk from the male, before he trails his kisses down along her jaw line, going lower and lower until he's got her left nipple between his teeth.

Her body jerks and shutters, a startled yet thrilled little squeak coming from her, and he groans lowly at the taste of her skin. "S-Soul," She mumbles out lightly, letting her head lightly flop against the wall as he tugs and teases her nipple with his teeth. His tongue joins in, lightly gliding over the flesh while his hand has returned to its quest to explore beneath her skirt.

Soul knows for a fact that Maka uses lotion after her showers, and also before she puts on her shoes for school and missions. He's been aware that it is said that lotion is said to moisturize the skin, to keep it hydrated and smooth and smelling fresh (since every girl he knows uses scented stuff). He's always been one to think that it's less about that and more about mind control. Think about it; women rubbing some thick, white, creamy substance on typically unseen parts of their bodies in front of men (or, rather, that's how it always goes down with he and Maka)? Isn't that just the slightest bit suspicious to some of you men out there?

Soul keeps the mind control option in the back of his mind, but he must admit that Maka's lotion is apparently working. He lets just his finger tips glide along the top of her thigh, skimming by the edge of her panties, because he doesn't want to go too far just yet. Even though her book is at the other end of the bed at this point, he knows her well; that book could be here in mere seconds. So, instead, he settles for these teasing little touches just inches from her pleasure center while his mouth switches to her other breast. He's going to wait for her invitation to let his hand go where it wants.

Fate seems to be on his side now, because he doesn't have to wait long.

"Soul, p-please," She whimpers weakly. He lifts his head from her chest and meets her gaze, smiling lightly at her.

"Please, what?" He purrs lowly, earning him a glare. Oh, is that the game he wants to play? Fine then; she'll just make it clear that she's not in the mood! He seems to forget how rather blunt his meister can be when she really feels like it.

"Here; touch me here," She says with a small growl, one of her hands grabbing the wrist of the hand up her skirt and shoving his hand unceremoniously against her rather damp panties. She lets out a small squeak of delight and Soul's head tips back slightly, blood starting to slide from his nostrils.

Oh, Shinigami-Sama, he's dead or dreaming or **he's dead and dreaming**.

His eye twitches a bit when she shifts, grinding against his palm lightly to hint her annoyance at the lack of movement. She didn't put his hand there for nothing, after all. But then, his lips are back on hers and his hand is moving. One of his fingers lightly glides along her slit through the material, grinning when she whines and she clings to him. He slips his tongue into her mouth just as he lets one finger slip past her panties, slowly pressing the digit inside.

She's tight and squeezes around the offending appendage, but Soul doesn't mind. His far too lost in the pure bliss that is the feel of his meister's hot, wet, tight walls around his finger. He starts pumping the one digit slowly, wanting to give her the chance to get adjusted. He can tell that she's enjoying it, though; if her clinging to his shirt and mewling into his mouth is any indication.

Feeling a bit more daring, he lets a second finger join in. Her eyes snap open and she flings her head back, letting out a loud gasp of his name. With that action, he leans down and latches to her neck while his fingers start slowly scissoring her. "S-Soul," She whimpers suddenly, one hand pushing at his shoulder. He growls lowly, a touch annoyed. The shoving becomes more insistent when he didn't stop. "Soul, Blair!"

**That** certainly got his attention. He turns just in time to see the feline click the camera one more time before turning to run away, laughing all the way. _'Kill it! Kill it!'_ Something in his head screams suddenly, and he decides to do it.

The next day, Blair would lament the lose of another life and the destruction of her camera (after Soul got the picture he needed off first, of course).

End

Notes:

Cock-blocked by a cat. That got it all on film. I think we've all been there, amiright? :D

I know the stuff they said right before the citrus-y stuff started was really cliché and fluff and blah, but you know what? I really wanted to write some fluffy stuff with sexy content! And I doubt that any of you will really be complaining since you got more poorly mix lime juice from me.

Another shout out of love to the wonderful Miyaow for giving me her permission to make a smutty story based off of her comic. If you haven't checked out her artwork, you really should look up her deviantart account! She's a wonderful artist and her gallery is filled with lovely works. :3

I've also noticed a developing habit when I write things like this (or, rather, anything with a higher level of sexual content in it)… I have to listen to Japanese music or instrumental pieces. I think, as strange as this may sound, it's because I feel that music won't judge me. Is that weird to say? Oh well, the process works so I'm not going to complain. :D


End file.
